5 Reasons Why Your Son Is So Quiet
Growing up, I was known for being very quiet and reserved. But really, I wasn't that quiet. I was just very selective of who I opened up too. I had a lot to say and had a lot of opinions on things. But 90% of the time I was super quiet.
I was quiet to the point where it was a bit awkward. I could see people looking at me when I wasn't looking and had a feeling that people were talking about me for being so quiet.
Truthfully, I loved people, always wanted to speak but held back.
If you are a parent and you've observed that your son is hyper reserved in a way where it's excessive. Based on personal experience I'm going to give you five reasons why your son is hyper reserved:
- Your son is quiet because he feels misunderstood. We all have a need to feel accepted. Especially at a young age where your son probably hasn't discovered himself yet, he craves validation. Whenever he's in a situation where he feels threatened to be greatly rejected and misunderstood he will withdraw himself as a defense mechanism.
- 2. Your son is in his head. Instead of connecting with others or making an attempt his wheels are spinning and creating reasons why he shouldn't speak. Mentally he is catastrophizing situations. He is hyper focused on himself. He has a belief that the world is up against him and everybody is thinking about him in a negative way. So what he does is shut down and remains distant.
- Your son is inexperienced. Recently, I was in an occupational therapy program at Keiser University. The definition of occupation is meaningful activities. Being social is a fundamental skill for survival. Social skills are something that has to be built. It's like a muscle that has to be exercised. Otherwise, we're not going to be able to pick up on social cues. Occupational therapy for certain patients requires social activity. We get them to do something social such as playing games, going to a park or just bringing them out. Your son probably is too much into watching YouTube videos, playing video games, watching Anime and is way too sheltered. The worst part is your son probably is complacent about it. This is a tough pattern that's going to take a lot of work to break.
- Trauma. There must have been a time where your son made an attempt to express himself but was ridiculed and made fun of for it. He probably felt like his differences weren't celebrated and he didn't know how to deal with the rejection. Rejection is said to be equivalent to physical pain. Your son probably is in a lot of pain but doesn't understand how to navigate.
- Insecurities. Your son struggles with low self-esteem. Your son probably is so quiet because he doesn't want to express himself because he's afraid of what other people think about him. He's afraid that he's going to be misunderstood.
There are many other possibilities as to why your son that's in middle school or high school is so quiet. But these are just a few things I have personally dealt with and have overcome. Now I'm a real estate agent in South Florida serving and selling all over Fort Lauderdale Beach.
I've given you five reasons why your son is so quiet; however I want to share with you how I've overcome these challenges.
One of the biggest things I've done to help me overcome these challenges and I still do it up to now is journaling. I don't know what I would do with myself if I spent more than seven days without journaling.
Journaling brings some clarity, it helps me to see things from the outside looking in, and I answer my questions through journaling.
When I journal, it helps me to think with clarity, making me 10 steps ahead of everyone else. When I Journal, I discover myself, I can be out of my head and present. Journaling gives me no reason to overthink because I've already settled things in my mind.
So if I were you, I wouldn't just tell my son sir grab a pen and paper and express himself I would do it with him. I would also ask him focused questions to get him to express himself.
The next thing I would do is to put him in social environments where he can become experienced. He may still be a little awkward but as time passes by and through repetition he's going to be able to navigate himself in a social environment better.
Lastly, love him unconditionally. Love on your son. I don't mean hugs and kisses only but just be present. Hear him out. Tell him that it's okay that he feels the way he feels and help him conquer. Don't make your son wrong. Just help him to navigate.
Once again like I said earlier in this blog I'm speaking from personal experience and I have overcome these challenges. Hopefully, this helps.
If you're looking to move somewhere in South Florida I help people sell and buy homes in Fort Lauderdale. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any real estate needs.